What a Band 6 Selective writing piece looks like (with an annotated example)

The Department has released only a handful of sample pieces with examiner comments, and none of them is explained line by line, so most families have never seen why a piece is Band 6. Below is a full Selective-style narrative written to the official Band 6 descriptors, followed by notes on exactly where the marks come from. It is our example, not an official sample, but every comment is tied to the words the examiners use.

The prompt is one from our practice page: For a hundred years, the lighthouse on Gull Point has shone every single night. Tonight, for the first time, it has gone dark. Write a story that begins on the night the lighthouse light goes out.

The piece (about 340 words)

The light had never gone out. Not once in a hundred years, Grandad said, and he said it the way other people said the sun would rise.

So when the beam didn't sweep across my ceiling at nine o'clock, I counted to sixty before I let myself believe it. Then I was at the window with my forehead against the cold glass, staring at a tower I could only find because it was a darker shape against the dark.

Downstairs, Grandad was already pulling on his boots. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. The Maria Rose was due back from the reef tonight, and there was only one way into the harbour that didn't go through rocks.

We ran. Sand, then gravel, then the iron steps that rang under our feet like a warning bell. Inside, the stairs spiralled up into blackness, and somewhere above us the great lamp sat silent, a sleeping giant nobody had thought to wake.

"Bulb's gone," Grandad panted at the top. "Spare's in the shed. Fifteen minutes there and back."

We didn't have fifteen minutes. Out on the water, small and stubborn, a single white light was moving towards the reef.

I looked at the torch in my hand. Then at the enormous lens, curved like a frozen wave. I didn't know if it would work. I didn't know anything, really, except that the Maria Rose needed something to steer by.

I climbed onto the rail and held the torch against the glass.

The lens took my little light and made it huge. A pale, wobbling beam swung out across the water, nothing like the proper one, but there. I turned it slowly, the way I'd watched it turn every night of my life.

Far below, a horn sounded twice.

Grandad put his hand on my shoulder and didn't say anything, and this time I understood that too. The light had never gone out. I decided it still hadn't.

Where the Set A marks come from

Set A is content, form, organisation and style, out of 15. Band 6 asks for content "thoughtfully and confidently chosen, with inventive and imaginative details selected to create impact" and "ambitious and well-chosen vocabulary and stylistic features consciously used".

1. The opening does two jobs. "The light had never gone out" states the thing the story is about to break, and the Grandad simile ("the way other people said the sun would rise") gives the narrator a voice in the first sentence. Voice is what examiners mean by "distinctive".
2. Feelings are shown, not named. The narrator "counted to sixty before I let myself believe it". Nobody says scared or worried; the reader works it out, which is what makes it land.
3. Detail is chosen for effect, not listed. "A darker shape against the dark" is one image doing the work of a paragraph of description. The Band 6 descriptor uses the word chosen for a reason.
4. Stakes arrive early and specifically. By paragraph three we know the boat's name, where it is, and why the dark matters ("only one way into the harbour that didn't go through rocks"). General danger is Band 4; specific danger is Band 6.
5. Dialogue does work. Grandad's three short lines deliver the problem, the solution and the deadline. Nothing is there for decoration.
6. The form is right from the first line and the paragraphs are managed. New paragraph for each shift of place, speaker or time, including two one-line paragraphs ("We didn't have fifteen minutes." and "Far below, a horn sounded twice.") placed where the tension peaks.
7. The ending was planned. It returns to the opening sentence and shows the change the prompt asked for: the narrator who needed Grandad to explain things now "understood that too". Examiners marked a real Band 6 sample down for an unsatisfying ending; this one closes the loop.

Where the Set B marks come from

Set B is sentences, punctuation and spelling, out of 10. Band 6 asks for "a well-judged range of sentence lengths, types and structures used with secure control to create impact" and punctuation "sometimes used for deliberate effect".

• Sentence length changes on purpose. "We ran." is two words. The next sentence is a list that speeds up ("Sand, then gravel, then the iron steps…"). The one after is long and winding, like the stairs. That is range for effect, which is the Band 6 phrase.
• Fragments are deliberate, not accidents. "Then at the enormous lens, curved like a frozen wave." is a fragment, but it follows a complete sentence and mirrors the narrator's glance. Examiners can tell the difference between control and loss of control.
• Punctuation does more than separate sentences. Commas pace the long sentences; the italics mark the boat's name; the dialogue is punctuated exactly.
• No patterns of error. Set B forgives a single slip and punishes patterns. There are no homophone mistakes, no comma splices and no missing capitals.

The same opening at Band 4

Here is the first paragraph again, written the way a competent Band 4 piece often reads:

One night the lighthouse light went out. I was in my room and I noticed it was dark outside. I was scared because the lighthouse had always been on. I went to tell my Grandad and he said we should go and check it out.

Nothing is wrong with it. It is on topic, correctly spelled and punctuated, and it begins where the prompt says. The rubric calls this "competent": "selection of content is sound and appropriate" and "an appropriate level of formality is mostly maintained". What keeps it out of the top bands:

Would this piece get 15 out of 15?

Probably not, and that is worth knowing. A strict examiner might want a little more of the setting established before the running starts, or might feel the lens working first time is too convenient. Fourteen would be a fair Set A mark, and 9 or 10 for Set B. Band 6 is a range, and a piece can sit comfortably inside it without being perfect.

How to get there

1. Read the rubric once, then stop reading about writing and write.
2. Use a five-minute plan so the ending is decided before the first sentence.
3. Write a piece on the practice tool and read the Set A and Set B comments. They use the same words as this article, so you will see which band each habit is pulling you towards.
4. Fix one thing per piece. "Show the feeling" one week, "vary the sentence length" the next.